I did something today that I swore I would NEVER do. First, let me start with a little bit of info on why I swore I would never do what I did....
I ready cjane pretty faithfully. And, she has written some posts that have stirred up some debate. I have spent more time than necessary reading through some of the comments written by her readers, and have been shocked that people write some of the most negative things about her and her writings. She has also said that at times, people have left negative comments on Nie Nie's blog. Seriously? Those people should be banned from the internet. Anyway, my thought has always been "If you don't like what is being written, then don't read the blog!" I mean, if you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all, right? Well, I broke that rule today.
I, on occassion, blog hop. Or blog stalk. Whatever you want to call it. And I came across a blog. I honestly don't even know how I got there. I was first SHOCKED by the header itself. Not going to write what it said, but let's just say that it was inappropriate for a blog header. Then I started reading...and reading...and reading. (I should have left the blog after reading the header, but I didn't.) It was like a train wreck! I couldn't stop myself. Some of it was just fine. Actually, I was impressed with this woman's ability to keep her home organized and clean. But, she wrote some of the most embarassing, insensitive, personal and inappropriate things about her children and her husband. Each post, my jaw was closer and closer to the floor. Was I really reading an LDS mother and wife writing such private things? What would possess her to write these things? Now, I'm not one to say what you can or can't write on your blog. But please, use some common sense! My children read my blog. My husband, on occassion, reads my blog. I would NEVER write anything about any one of them that I wouldn't want them to read. And I certainly wouldn't write anything so negative and personal about my children that could, in all honestly, damage their self-esteem and their ability to TRUST me. My kids would never open up to me about anything if they knew that I would just turn around and post it on my blog for all of cyberspace to read! Kids these days face so many pressures, they don't need to be worried that I am going to blog our private conversations.
Anyway, back to what I did. I left a comment. Yes, I did. I swore I would never do it. I didn't want to be like one of those negative ninnies on cjane's blog. But, I couldn't help it! I wasn't doing it to be mean or nasty. I don't even know this woman. But I felt like someone needed to tell her that IT ISN'T RIGHT! I felt like I needed to say to something to her in defense of her kids! And her husband! I mean, there is NO WAY that her husband or kids could read her blog without being MORTIFIED with the things that are being posted.
I said my piece. I had to do it in the form of a comment as I could not find an email address anywhere on her blog. I really wanted to keep it private, but oh well. I did it. I'm not sorry I did it. I felt like it needed to be said. I'm sure I completely offended her but as a mom, I felt like I HAD to do it. So, it's done. It was my Random Act of Kindness in honor of her kids.
18 Say what?:
Sometimes it is hard to speak up in defense of other people's children... especially in a situation where the damage isn't physical! But horray for you!
Good for you. In this case, I would say your somments seem totally justified, unlike many of the unkkind things on cjane's blog. I would love to hear if she ever responds to you.
I think it's good that you commented to defend her family. Some people think they can just put their "dirty laundry" out there and it isn't a big deal but it really is! Rob always told me I better not be writing bad things about any family members and about things that are private...which I totally agree with! She needs to start a private blog just for her and then she can write those things down! Makes me sad for her family.
Good job Toni! That was brave!
I am sure you mean well, but I'd like to reassure everyone that there is no need to pity the family. They are loved, and they know it!
:)
You should have went with your first instinct and kept your mouth shut.
"I wasn't doing it to be mean or nasty. I don't even know this woman. But I felt like someone needed to tell her that IT ISN'T RIGHT! "
Well mean and nasty was exactly what it was. And rude.
You read the title of her blog. You knew exactly what you were getting into. But ya kept on reading. You didn't stop your Molly Mormon eyes. Fer Shame.
And FYI her husband and kids don't read her blog. As for her friends, we know how she is. My friend is a tell it like it is, no holds bar type of person. She puts it all out there. She is a very easy person to talk to. Very NON Judgmental. You could take a few pointers from her on that. She is the most giving, friendly person I know.
If I had free time you obviously do, I wouldn't use it to go blog stalking. Especially if you are so sensitive.
Amen Lisa!!!
Well...I understand you couldn't leave an email, so you had to make it a public comment, but now you're posting about it here.....you are being pretty judgmental. And you're rallying others to judge her as well.
What makes your, frankly, rude comment any different than the ones you are so against? Because you think you're right? Seems to me you are doing EXACTLY what you claim to abhor. Seems like a double standard.
wow. two faced hypocrite. I bet your whole life is falling apart and you're doping up on the zoloft so that all you see if roses and nothing else matters. Kudo's to the blogger who "comes to church without a mask" Certainly not any form of the Christ-like perfume you spray upon yourself, it just masks your odor. That's not a very pretty thing to do.
And I wonder how you're enjoying the type of comments you leave. You reap what you sew.
Doesn't feel very good, does it?
Granny, I think you need to chill. I am someone who knows both of these women and, I wanted Toni to keep her thoughts to herself, because of exactly what has happened since, but I am pretty sure that SHE has not outed this blogger to any of her friends so they gang up and attack this blogger...I hope that you, and all of your internet friends feel better now. That is the most hateful thing I think I have ever read, your seething words actually made my skin crawl. I don't know how you could mention our Savior in the same comment.
Can't we all just get along? Doggoneit!
hendywow: the blogger in question has not outed Toni. Toni's username comes up when you click on her comment, as does this blog, as does Hugh's name, as do her children's--a few simple clicks, and one can find Toni and her family quite easily, really.
No, my friend didn't need to out anyone, I am smart enough that way ;)
And as for the meanness, I agree: there is no need for it on either side of the fence, there actually shouldn't be a fence at all, this shouldn't even be an issue, IMO.
Yes. All we had to do was click on the comment left, and WALLA...we find Toni's blog. And her last name, and her childrens names, and her hudbands name. Type any of those into google or spokeo or any search engine, and you can even have her address and phone number if you wanted. We didn't need directions from our friend. Actually this was pointed out to her. So....lets not point fingers here.
Thanks girls, I already knew that, I think you missed my point. I said I KNOW both of these people and I KNOW what happened.
This whole thing really bums me out. HAPPY, HAPPY Thoughts! I have talked to her,and I am pretty sure she has moved on. I hope Toni will too, all of this negativity is definately not worth your time.
NYC..:)
You did a good thing stickin up for those kids and husband. My husband would be mortified if I wrote some of the things on my blog that she has on hers. I think the fact that she has deleted some posts shows that you did the right thing and maybe she will think a bit before she posts from here on out.
I have been soooo tempted to leave a similar type of comment before on a stranger's blog, but finally decided not to (which required a LOT of restraint!) so I know where you are coming from.
My opinion is that no one likes to be criticized and rarely will something like that go over well. It's like fighting a losing battle right from the beginning.
I cower in the face of confrontation, though, so there ya go. ;)
I've been thinking about this a lot, because I am very close friends with the blogger you posted a comment to.
I think what hearts my heart in this whole thing is the fact that instead of seeking to understand her and find compassion and love for her, to see her, her situation and family the way our Father sees them.
I have been on the internet a long time, and I have seen many hurt feelings and pain be inflicted on others (unintentionally, but preventably) by rushing to defend a third party when none was needed.
If we can all learn to love and embrace all of those around us, even if they act in ways that we don't understand, we can learn, grow and help everyone to the best ability possible.
There is a reason why many feel so left out of the fold of our Savior simply because they don't fit within the cookie cutter set of expectations. If we can just learn to see things from the perspectives of others everyone benefits.
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